I find myself constantly looking for things I crave. Sometimes I find it in food or booze but those are all just coping mechanisms. I'm no where near perfect and some days I look more like a potato than others. I've had days where I look in the mirror and wonder how I let myself become this and sometimes that seems to negate any feeling of strength I have ever built into the experience of being me. I feel with time you need to learn that your actions and your lack of control are all in your control. There comes a point where you figure out that all these habits which you do to cope with yourself are actually what stop you from making yourself what you want to be. I've come to a point where I don't just want to cope, I want to be what I need to be in order to support myself through what I interpret as tough times. Slowly but surely after repetition, habits should stick. It took this long to become who I am now. It's time to grow into what I'm capable of becoming. Just some random thoughts.
Love,
Steph
Also... I attached a picture of me looking like a potato.
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